According to His Will

These week has been an interesting week for me. Just a lot going on inside this crazy head of mine :)
I've been learning a lot though, and trying to focus more on making sure I have scripture study and it has been a neat experience for me! Just another witness from Heavenly Father that what he asks us to do is really for out benefit. With that in mind, this scripture in the Words of Mormon really stood out to me in Chapter 1 verse 7:

"And I do this for a wise purpose; for thus it whispereth me, according to the workings of the Spirit of the Lord which is in me. And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will."

Mormon is speaking here referencing that fact that he doesn't always understand why the spirit directs him to compile certain writings and teaching, but that he does it and trusts God.

The word trust has come to mean a lot to me, in my mind, for experiences I've had in my life, it is synonymous with faith. I have to recognize that I don't always understand why things happen to me, or why Heavenly Father asks me to do certain things, but I know that He sees the big picture and that it will all be ok, and it will all make sense in the end.

Heavenly Father has specific things he has planned for us in this life, that's why we have the personalities that we have, and the talents and gifts. And if we allow Him to, he can make much more of our lives then we can :)

Speedily Obedient

Today my in our family scripture study we read this verse from Alma Chapter 8:

18 Now it came to pass that after Alma had received his message from the angel of the Lord he returned speedily to the land of Ammonihah. And he entered the city by another way, yea, by the way which is on the south of the city of Ammonihah.

What really struck me today was the word speedily. It made me wonder, how often do I do what the Lord asks speedily? So many times he asks me to do things that aren't necessarily hard, but I forget about them and then remember days later. Here Alma is, and the Lord asks him to do something really hard and Alma goes speedily. 

I'm grateful for reminders from the scriptures, and I am resolving to be not only more obedient, but more speedily obedient :)

A Mission

This week I read the talk from General Conference given by Elder Neil L. Andersen entitled "A witness of God." When I first started reading it I have to be completely honest that "Oh no, not another talk about missionary work" crossed my mind (which I'm repenting of ;) ). However, this passage really struck me. Elder Andersen said:

"To be a witness of God at all times and in all places reflects both how we live and how we speak.

Be open about your faith in Christ. When the occasion presents itself, speak of His life, His  teachings, and His incomparable gift to all mankind. Share His powerful truths from the  Book of Mormon. He has given us this promise: “Whosoever …shall confess me before  men, him will I confess … before my Father … in heaven.”10 I promise you that as you pray often and sincerely for opportunities to “stand as a witness of God,” those opportunities will come, and those who seek more light and knowledge will be put before you. As you respondto spiritual promptings, the Holy Ghost will carry your words to the heart of another, and oneday the Savior will con-fess you before His Father."

It occurred to me that so often in the church we categorize missionary work as "teaching and baptizing people who aren't members of the church." While this is a part of it (a very small part of it that I feel is over emphasized), being a missionary is so much more than that. The word missionary in the Webster dictionary is:
"a person undertaking a mission and especially a religious mission." 
Then what does being a missionary really mean? The missionary purpose is to: "Invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end."
It just says to invite others, doesn't that really mean everyone? So whether it is our family, friends, roommates, friends and even ourselves, "Mormon" or not being a missionary means to, as Elder Andersen says, "be a witness of God at all times and in all places reflects both how we live and how we speak," then surely we can all be missionaries. Maybe this is just me ranting because I feel like members of the church try to "DO missionary work" instead of just BEING a missionary, which comes from the effects of my mission where I felt like we were taught to do that. But to me being a missionary should just be who we are as disciples of Christ. When we believe and love him it should just be natural to talk about him to others and to share what we believe. Is it easy for me to go up to random strangers and abruptly start talking about the church? Nope! And I honestly don't think it ever will. But can I talk to my friends, family and roommates every single day about gospel topics and about what I believe? Yes! And maybe someday I will have more opportunities to share the gospel in a personal way outside of my friends/family circle, and I hope that I do.
Why as Latter-day Saints is it weird to talk about gospel subjects on a daily basis? (I know I'm generalizing a lot here, but I have met people who seem to feel that way).

In conclusion, this thought process that has literally taken place as I've been writing has helped me want to be a better disciple in the every day small things. If no one reads this (and I kinda hope no one does) it is fine because Heavenly Father taught me things in the process.

Prayer

Lately I have been studying conference talks from the October 2016 General Conference. I recently read "The Lord Jesus Christ Teaches Us to Pray" by Elder Juan A. Uceda of the Seventy.
Why so many parts of the talk made me pause to ponder, this quote in particular made me think:

"Do you prepare yourself to make important decisions by praying to your Heavenly Father? Do you prepare yourself for a moment of prayer?"

While I always take my important decisions to Heavenly Father, I rarely specifically and purposefully prepare myself for a moment of prayer. This quote made me wonder, how does a person prepare themselves for a prayer. The following are only my own thoughts and I am sure, if I took the time, I could find many other conference talks and scriptures that would give greater insight to this principle.

-Before I pray, take time to breath. So often I am rushing, physically and mentally. I need to take the quiet time to slow down.
-Think about what I'm am going to say, what questions does Heavenly Father want me to ask him so that I can learn something. So often I just have a list of things I need.
-As I think about what to say do I ever allow the spirit to put thoughts in my mind of what I should say or ask for?

With these goals in mind, I really believe that prayer can be more than a routine (which is what it has been for me lately), it can be a recharge and a special time between you and Heavenly Father.

God is in the Details

This week this scripture came to my mind a lot:

Moses 1:13 And it came to pass that Moses looked upon Satan and said: Who art thou? For behold, I am a son of God, in the similitude of his Only Begotten; and where is thy glory, that I should worship thee? 

While this is a scripture commonly quoted by many people, and one that I have thought about often before, I thought about it a little bit different this time. In connection with a conversation I had with my mom where she reminded me that God is in the DETAILS of our lives (emphasis on the details, just in case you couldn't tell).  I am learning that because we are God's children, that he cares about every thing about us. Just as my own mother loves hearing about the little things in my life, Heavenly Father not only cares for, but provides for the little things. Even through times that are hard (and the first two weeks of this semester have definitely been hard) Heavenly Father is there. There is purpose in the "hardness." I learn more about myself and what he wants me to do.
So, when the going gets tough, turn to him :)

That Good Part

Lately I have had so many different things on my mind. I've also read so many scriptures recently that have answered questions of my heart. I love the scriptures and am so grateful to them. But, even with the many many wonderful scripture verses that I read I always come back to a scripture that means a lot to me. A really long time ago I had a very sacred and personal experience that related to the story of Mary, Martha and Jesus in the book of Luke. Since then these verses have always meant so much to me.
Luke 10:

40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

So often I become cumbered in my life. I worry about whether I am making the best choices, am I really doing what Heavenly Father wants me too? Am I good enough? Or I worry how I am ever going to accomplish everything that I am supposed to in the timeline required (work, homework, etc.). We all have those things, it is just a part of life I suppose. But something this scripture taught me so long ago is that when we choose that good part (sincere prayer to our Heavenly Father, taking the sacrament with purpose, serving and loving those around us, going to the temple, taking the time to allow Heavenly Father to teach us through reading the scriptures) then everything else will either fall into place in our lives the way He wants it to, or it will fall out of our lives completely (when that happens we know we don't really need it). Really, it comes down to taking the time to allow our Father to become our best friend. He is a friend that will never be "taken away from [us]." I am definitely not very good at keeping Him first in my life all the time. He's never way in the back, but He also is rarely completely in front, and it is not very easy to follow Him when He isn't in front of me. However, during the times that I have put Him in front, I never feel completely alone, I feel peaceful about things in my life, and/or I recognize the things I need to change. He does care even about the little things in our lives, even if it is telling me which hall to go down in the Wilk building so I can find a seat to study in. Sometimes I think we say to ourselves that he doesn't want to be bothered with small and simple things, when in reality our Heavenly Father cares most about the small and simple things. If Heavenly Father had a motto, maybe it would be "Small and Simple Things." ;)
I know Heavenly Father loves us, and that he is just waiting for us to ask Him to lead us, guide us AND ESPECIALLY to walk beside us.
I'm so grateful for that! I'm also really grateful for my religion class that requires me to write things every week. I learn so much from actually sitting down and thinking through my thoughts!
If you ever get a chance to take "Jesus Christ and the Everlasting Gospel" from Tyler Griffin at BYU DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My First Vision Assignment

I have come to decide that I'm not really a good blogger, which is fine, no one (including myself) really cares. However today I had the chance to do an assignment for my religion class here at BYU and I felt I should share it. It has been a great learning experience for me, and while I'm not the best writer in the world, I hope you can get the feeling out of it that I felt as I wrote it.
A little background to this assignment, we were asked to read several different versions of Joseph Smith writing about his First Vision experience when he saw God the Father and his Son Jesus Christ after praying in a grove of trees. Then we were to pick one out of three questions:

(1) In your own words explain why you think Joseph Smith provided different accounts at different times to a different audience (include at least three or four examples).

(2) What difference to your understanding of and appreciation for Joseph Smith's prophetic ministry did you gain by reading all the First Vision accounts?

(3) Pretend someone you know is investigaging the Church and approached you at a ward function and asked if he or she could send you some questions. In a follow up email, your friend asks "Why are there different accounts of the First Vision?" Now repsond to the question in order to build understanding and faith in this investigator. 

I picked number two. It was so great for me to ponder and I learned so much. Again, forgive my lack of writing skills.

McKall Ruell

Sept. 8, 2015

Rel C 225

First Vision

For most of my life, I grew up believing that Joseph Smith was perfect. He had perfect faith, perfect humility and perfect obedience. In short, I felt that he was a perfect example of being like the Savior. I suppose in many ways he was like a superhero in my eyes. With that image of the prophet in my mind I had a desire to be like him. I thought that someday I would accomplish miracles on a daily basis, have such a close relationship with Heavenly Father that every desire to do wrong would completely and magically vanish away and that I would never be scared to do what Heavenly Father asked me to do, no matter how hard it was. However as I got older I became discouraged and I felt that I could never live up to those standards because I was just a normal person. No matter how much I wanted to have strong faith, perfect humility and obedience, I couldn’t seem to quite get myself to follow through all the time.

            Over the past few years as I’ve had the chance to study the Doctrine and Covenants, Church History and attend many institute classes about our Latter-day Prophets I’ve come to see that Joseph Smith, as well as all of the prophets in this dispensation were normal, imperfect human beings. At first this was hard for me to understand, not that I ever doubted that the gospel was true, or doubted that they were prophets called of God (the feelings in my heart have always been too strong to allow me to do that) it was just that my super hero image had been shattered and I wanted to put the pieces back together, in the correct order this time. This assignment of studying the different accounts of the First Vision has in many ways been a final step in putting those pieces back together.

            It was been a great relief for me to understand the Joseph Smith, as wonderful as I still believe him to be, was not perfect. He didn’t have the best education and struggled with writing (which as I am struggling to write this is a great comfort to me). He was a normal person who at the end of the day could hardly remember what had happened the morning before, and if you’re like me you can hardly remember the hour before. For me, this realization has been comforting and empowering. If Heavenly Father can take a normal and imperfect person like Joseph Smith and do so many marvelous things to further his work, surely he can do that for me. I am no Joseph Smith by any means, and I still feel that he is one of the best examples of following the Savior, but whatever the Lord has planned for me I want to be able to accomplish it.

            All of the details in the first vision accounts don’t completely match up, but that is not what matters to me. Whenever I read about the first vision, no matter what version it is, the feeling in my heart is the same. I know God the Father and his Son appeared to the Prophet Joseph Smith and I am so grateful that a normal, imperfect 14 year old boy had the courage to go into the woods to pray, that he was humble enough to answer the Lord’s call and then to tell us about it.