Isn’t it interesting how past you can remind present you of some important things? This happened for me when I started looking through all my blog posts. My blog stats show that my post, “All Things from the Beginning” (https://mckallerin.blogspot.com/2017/12/all-things-from-beginning.html) had been viewed about 60 times, so I decided to look at it myself. Many the memories flooded back to me as I read about my difficult semester.
All too well do I remember the difficulties that semester presented. I was taking the most classes I had ever taken in one semester, and for at least two months during it, I had one or two migraines a day. Not something I ever want to return to. However, what I learned from it, is not something I would ever want to miss out on! And now, as I read, I realized that I am again in the same position, and seeing those same blessings again in my life.
Last summer I was in the middle of finishing my undergrad degree by doing two internships, and not taking classes was an adjustment. The feeling of being in-between, the wondering what was next, and settling into my new life was much more difficult then I had anticipated. I knew that everything would work out the way it needed to, but I couldn’t shake off my melancholy very easily. Then I got the job that I was hoping and praying for, and things were a little better, but when God wants you to do something he doesn’t leave you feeling settled for long. I soon started to feel that I needed to apply for grad school at Utah State University. This revelation was not necessarily a happy one for me, it fact in caused me a lot of anxiety, feeling my abilities far beneath the requirements of a Masters degree. But, after a long, long time of resisting, I finally applied to the program, with the help of my wonderful family and some dear friends. During this same time, I began to feel that it was important for me to start a blog dedicated to stories of the past. As much as I love to write, I felt this could be a stepping point in my career that go either go well or go wrong. But I made an attempt to start (although since then it’s progress has been remarkably slow).
All too well do I remember the difficulties that semester presented. I was taking the most classes I had ever taken in one semester, and for at least two months during it, I had one or two migraines a day. Not something I ever want to return to. However, what I learned from it, is not something I would ever want to miss out on! And now, as I read, I realized that I am again in the same position, and seeing those same blessings again in my life.
Last summer I was in the middle of finishing my undergrad degree by doing two internships, and not taking classes was an adjustment. The feeling of being in-between, the wondering what was next, and settling into my new life was much more difficult then I had anticipated. I knew that everything would work out the way it needed to, but I couldn’t shake off my melancholy very easily. Then I got the job that I was hoping and praying for, and things were a little better, but when God wants you to do something he doesn’t leave you feeling settled for long. I soon started to feel that I needed to apply for grad school at Utah State University. This revelation was not necessarily a happy one for me, it fact in caused me a lot of anxiety, feeling my abilities far beneath the requirements of a Masters degree. But, after a long, long time of resisting, I finally applied to the program, with the help of my wonderful family and some dear friends. During this same time, I began to feel that it was important for me to start a blog dedicated to stories of the past. As much as I love to write, I felt this could be a stepping point in my career that go either go well or go wrong. But I made an attempt to start (although since then it’s progress has been remarkably slow).
I could write a lot more about all of this, but as I don’t want this to be a terribly long post, I will venture to make a long story short. In February I was accepted to the USU History graduate program, and this last week I was offered to have my blog spotlighted on a very well known family history podcast. So here I sit, with my life and career on a path that six months ago I would never have imagined. My heart and mind are filled with much trepidation and a little excitement. And today, when I read, in my own words no less, that “trusting in Heavenly Father means recognizing and REMEMBERING that Heavenly Father has all power and that if you try your best to follow him (and even sometimes when you have your moments of forgetting to trust him), things will work out the way Heavenly Father knows they need to, because he DOES know all things from the beginning... So overall I guess I just hope my future self will remember to trust Heavenly Father more and remember that he really does prepare 'a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men,' and that 'he hath all power.'"
Now here I am, learning the same lesson again, and I am grateful for the reminder. So, I am peaceful about the future. I know it will be difficult, that there will probably be tears that are shed, but there will also be happy moments. As long as I end up where God needs me to be that’s what matters. And I know that as long as I try I will end up there, where ever that may be, because all things are in His hands!
Now here I am, learning the same lesson again, and I am grateful for the reminder. So, I am peaceful about the future. I know it will be difficult, that there will probably be tears that are shed, but there will also be happy moments. As long as I end up where God needs me to be that’s what matters. And I know that as long as I try I will end up there, where ever that may be, because all things are in His hands!
